The Lap Chai ceremony is normally held on the weekend prior to the actual wedding day which may coincide with the prenuptial dinner hosted by the bride’s family. Officially, the red bunting or chye kee is hung at the main door beginning from this day up to the day after the wedding is over. The hanging of the chai kee indicates that an auspicious occasion is about to occur in that home.
In most instances, both bride and groom’s representatives had determined and finalized the list of gifts to be exchanged and these gifts may differ from family to family. Traditional gifts will include a pair of red candles emblazoned with dragons and another pair attached with the phoenix cutouts. The candles may be dispensed with and replaced with an angpow instead. Also included is the dowry and ‘wang tetek’ (breast money – money remitted to the bride’s mother for her breast-fed milk), a set of clothing, jewellery and foodstuff. A general rule to follow is to return half of what is given and replaced with other similar produce in the case of foodstuff and candles; or to be replaced with something similar or same value for articles of clothing and accessories. The dowry is usually returned as accepting dowry is akin to the parents selling their daughter. If the dowry is taken, then the money should be channeled to purchasing items needed by the cash strapped bridal couple.
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