10) 迎娶前的游戏 Chinese wedding door games

新郎在迎娶他的新娘之前,通常须要通过一系列的有趣游戏测试, 来证明对未来的妻子的爱.

以下是我们将与您分享的一些游戏，这对您的新郎和伴郎来说肯定会有挑战性。

没钱，没宝贝！

游戏通常开始于新郎需要“贿赂” 她的伴娘。 新郎和他的兄弟们须与伴娘一起进行各种有趣的讨价还价游戏。红包的价钱通常是 RM888或 RM 999 ; 因为8和9是中国文化中的幸运数字它也意味着好运。 伴娘感到满意之后，才打开大门欢迎他们进入房子

酸甜苦辣

婚姻是关于两个人一起经历生活中的起伏和酸，甜，苦,辣。所以我们可以做些有创意的饮料或食物.你可以从中药店得到苦粉, 甜味可以用炼乳代替，苹果醋代表酸味，红辣椒可以 很好地代表辛辣。每试一种口味, 就要求新郎讲每一个与新娘联系的珍贵回忆.

问答环节

新郎必须正确的回答有关新娘的每一个问题。 对于每一个不正确的答案，新郎和他的随行人员必须要么仰卧起坐/或者要求新郎在结婚后做些什么。

跳Limbo

没有什么比观看一群成年男子试图在一根绳子或一块木头下面挣扎弯腰来得更有趣的了，而每一个通过的人都会得到人们的欢呼声。这是一个有趣游戏测试, 男人也可以通过游戏来证明对未来的妻子的爱！

爱的宣言 ：

就在新郎“迎娶”她之前，请新郎为新娘写一首浪漫的爱情诗,一份的信息，列出他爱她/她需要嫁给他的五个理由.

Tips.

1.新娘的姊妹朋友在闖關遊戲中故意阻饒新郎接新娘，為討吉利新郎會給予她們紅包，這舉動稱之為「討喜」。

Before the groom can claim his bride, he usually has to undergo a series of test in the form of fun game, also called "door games". In this section, the bridesmaids "ji mui" will pretend to prevent the groom & his groomsmen"heng dai" from taking the bride away from her home. This ceremony aimed to make the groom prove his love again to his future wife. Here are some games we are going to share with you that will surely be challenging for your groom and groomsmen.

No money, no honey!

The door games usually start with the groom needing to “bribe” his way to his loved one. The groom and his entourage have to go through rounds of fun bargaining with the bridesmaids. Choose your “Lai See” (red packet) carefully; $888 (8 is the lucky number in Chinese culture!) or $999 (the number 9 represents ‘eternity’ in Chinese) and so on are meant to represent good fortune. After the bridesmaids is satisfied with the Lai See amount, the gates open to welcome them into the house.

The Four Flavors of Life

Marriage is about going through ups and downs, through health and sickness – sour, sweet, bitter and hot/spicy (酸甜苦辣) –  together. Be creative and whip up some drinks or food that have each flavour – salt, sweet, spicy & bitter – you can get bitter powder from the Chinese traditional medicine shop, condensed milk can be the sweetness, apple cider vinegar represents sourness and red chilli is a good representation of spiciness. Spice it up by asking for the groom to associate a memory with the bride to each flavour. Prepare some water for the “Heng Dai” just in case the concoction becomes too strong for them.

  

Q&A

The groom must answer correctly every question asked about the bride and their relationship. For every incorrect answer, the groom and his entourage will have to either do presses or sit ups/or what the groom will carry out after the marriage.

  

Doing the Limbo

Nothing is more fun than watching a bunch of grown men try to limbo their way beneath a string or piece of wood while everyone one cheers them on through fits of laughter. It’s a challenge of how far a man will bend over for his loved one! 

Declaration of Love 

Right before the groom “picks” her up, ask him to write a love poem and prepare a romantic message to profess his love for his wife-to-be in the form of a love song. If he doesn’t consider himself as a love poet like Shakespeare or Taylor Swift, simply get him to list five reasons he loves her / she needs to marry him

9)到达目的地 Arrived the bride’s house

迎娶车队抵达新娘家前50公尺左右，应放鞭炮告知车队已抵达，女方家人听见鞭炮声响后，也要鸣炮回应。当主礼车抵达新娘家门时，由一名娶女方家中男童手持茶盘，上头摆放2颗橘子或苹果欢迎新郎，此时新郎要回赠红包给男童。迎娶队伍进入女方家后，女方家人为表示欢迎，需准备汤圆，甜茶供客人食用。新郎及兄弟在 新娘家门外喝茶稍侯，等待迎接新娘。

When the limousine arrived, the bride’s younger brother holds a tray with two oranges/ apples inside to welcome his brother in law. At the same time, he will receive a red packet (ang pow) from his brother in law in return.

8)大喜之日-出发之前 On the wedding day

点香膜拜神明. 妈妈为他穿上大衣. 捧一束花送给新娘. 新郎向爸爸妈妈三鞠躬. 步入事先装饰妥当的轿车, 与兄弟出发. 女家: 新娘的父母将拉下她的头纱, 盖住她的整个脸。

广东/客家: 随带一托盘全只烧猪（象征著新娘纯洁无瑕）及一封红包, 装有18粒柑和2袋花生的托盘, 2瓶洋酒, 2只鸡, 2片吊片, 2棵生菜, 2棵芹菜, 2棵青葱, 1瓶米酒(供祭祀新娘的祖先).

潮洲/福建: 随带一大对猪前腿, 8至12粒柑放进篮子里。

Tips.

1.出發前的迎娶用品如：車頭綵、米篩／黑傘、捧花。

2.迎娶人數包含新郎及親朋好友應為「吉數」，像是6位、10位或6的倍數。

The groom’s parents will help him put up his coat, and the groom gave his parent 3 bowing before departure. While for bride, the bride’s parents will pull down her veil to cover her whole face.

Guangdong / Hakka: Thing to bring along are: a tray of roast pig, a red packet (ang pow), 18 oranges, 2 bag of peanuts, 2 bottles of wine, 2 chicken, 2 dried squid, 2 Lettuce, 2 celery, 2 green onions and a bottle of rice wine as sacrificial to pray for the bride’s ancestors.

Teochew/Hokkian:  thing to bring along include a pair of pork front leg and 8-12 of oranges.

7)送嫁妆Send dowry (Song Jia Zuang)

收大礼后，女家的妆套最迟要在婚前一天送到男家。这批大箱小箱的嫁妆，可视为女家身份与财富的象征。嫁妆除珍贵的珠宝首饰外，主要是一些象征好兆头的东西。

蝴蝶双飞：剪刀。
子孙桶：痰盂。
良田万顷：尺。
甜甜蜜蜜：片糖。
腰缠万贯：银包皮带。
花开富贵：花瓶。
同偕到老：铜盆及鞋。
有衣食：龙凤被、床单及枕头一对、两双用红绳捆着的筷子及碗。
丰衣足食：七十二套衣服，有扁柏、莲子、龙眼及利是。

准新娘的母亲将提供的嫁妆如床单等寝具, 新衣服, 1套茶具, 1套床头灯, 1把尺, 1把剪刀, 1面镜子以及一些五色线, 1把红色雨伞, 2把扇子, 2盒粉, 1套衣食碗, 筷子及汤匙, 1双木屐(象征步步高升), 1双家里穿的拖鞋(象征新人的衣装), 1打双喜面巾, 几条手帕, 五谷(象征粮食), '多子福'公仔(象征世世代代儿孙满堂), 火炭(象征新娘过著无忧无虑), 缘钱.

广东/客家/福州: 一大, 一小的两个红色洗衣桶, 一个红色的沐浴盆及一个夜壶. 8个钱袋.

福建: 8个子孙桶, 包括一个夜壶., 18个钱袋.

简化方法：不合时宜的嫁妆，可配合时代节拍，略为修改，即亦可以利是代替。此外大箱可用红色皮急或旅行袋代替；小箱以首饰箱代之、痰盂用红胶桶。

嫁妆的禁忌

关于送嫁妆有许多讲究和忌讳，现在流传下来的主要有：

1、婚礼前一天男女两家大人不宜见面，所以送嫁妆时女方不宜派新娘的直系成年亲属相随。
2、女方得派一近亲男童(一般为新娘胞弟或近亲族弟)手执陪嫁之箱柜钥匙前往，现在一般只要随同前往即可，名为押嫁妆。
3、所有陪嫁物品以及送嫁妆用的各式车辆工具一律系以红绸布，以示吉庆。
4、送嫁妆的人员、车辆宜为双数。
5、男方得给送嫁妆的人员喜烟、喜糖和喜钱。给押嫁妆男童的喜钱应略多。
6、忌陪送床、锅、钟。
7、可由新郎新娘分用的物品，如被褥、脸盆、面镜、茶杯、枕巾、椅凳、花瓶等，宜为双数。
8、许多地方俗规嫁妆不能称“送”，以避“送上门的货不值钱”之忌，故俗谓之“发嫁妆”。发嫁妆，是展示女家风采的最佳时候，故各地都盛行张扬和炫耀，流行着“亮嫁妆”的风俗，有些地方说是“摆架子”。

A day before the wedding, the bride has to send all her necessary things and some jewelry to their new home as a symbol of prosperity. Others dowry need to be included are: scissors, spittoon, ruler, tablet sugar, wallet, belt, vase, basin, shoes, dragon and phoenix blanket and pillows, 2 pairs of chopsticks and bowls tie with red thread, 72 sets of cloths, some cypress, lotus seeds, “longan” and red packet(ang pow)

The dowry provide by the bride’s mother are: bed linen, new clothes, a tea set, a bedside lights, a ruler, a pair of scissors, a mirror, some color thread (5 color of thread is needed), a red umbrella, 2 hand fans, 2 box of powder, a set of bowl, chopsticks and spoons, a pair of clog shoes, a pair of home slippers, 12 pieces of towel, a few handkerchiefs, some grains, 'Multi-child bless' doll, some charcoal and some money.

Guangdong / Hakka/Fuzhou: A large and a small red laundry barrels, a red bath basin, a night pot, 8 purses.

Hokkian: 8 buckets, a night pot and 18 purses.

Simplified method: we have to slightly modified the outdated dowry, some of the dowry can be replace by red packet (ang pow)

6)上头Preparation a night before wedding (Shang Tou)

通常是在婚礼前一晚举行, 由'好命人'执行. 准新娘必须在准新郎完成仪式后至少一小时才能进行此仪式. 仪式前, 准新人须以加入柚叶的水沐浴, 换上全新及全白的睡衣, 内衣裤等. 仪式完成后, 准新人都不许站在屋外吸取雾气. 也不可以食用'上头鸡'也不许换其他服装. 下一次换衣, 就是穿婚纱礼服的时候了. 准新人必须食用汤圆, 乘余的汤圆, 将分派给所有的亲朋好友一起分享, 象征互相建立良好人际关系。

广东/客家： (仪式前) 准备3个盛满白米的罐子, 把3枝龙凤香, 1小棵橘子, 几片扁柏, 1把尺, 1把剪刀, 1面镜子和一些五色线插入中间的大罐子, 左边的罐子插入龙烛, 右边的罐子插入凤烛, 1对梳子, 2盒粉, 3小杯米酒, 3小杯茶, 3碗汤圆, 1只蒸鸡, 2片吊片, 1块猪肉, 5粒柑, 一些生菜, 芹菜和青葱.(仪式进行时) 准新郎必须面向墙, 背靠门; 而准新娘则刚好相反, 她必须面向门, 背靠墙. 用梳子在头发上连梳三次, 口里还得念;(仪式后) 新房的床中央放一个红色圆盘, 把一张圆形的红纸, 2封红包, 2粒柑, 瓜子, 龙眼, 莲子百合, 红枣, 用红线绑在一起的2块木炭放进红色圆盘内. 同时, 还放一盘鲜花在房里。

<梳头歌>

全文是怎样的?

一梳梳到尾, (意思: 有始至终)

二梳梳到白发齐眉, (意思:和谐偕老)

三梳梳到儿孙满地, (意思:儿孙满堂)

四梳梳到四条银笥尽标齐.(意思:富贵及婚姻长久)

福州: (仪式前)准备一些水果. 还要煮一些五颜六色的甜品, 汤圆. 上头用的东西如镜子, 梳子, 剪刀, 尺等, 需用红绳捆起来, 连同扁柏, 小蝶, 十对筷子, 插入一个盛满白米的罐子. 仪式前双方都得把身体洗干净, 准新郎得换上新的白色睡衣, 而准新娘得换上新的粉红色睡衣. (在执行上头仪式时) 可让亲友们观礼, 口里念著同样的词.

潮洲/福建: (仪式前) 准备12片有图案的'红龟'糕, 12捆系上红纸的面线, 3种不同形状的梳子, 3朵假华(1朵以白色制成, 2朵以红布制成)插入装满米的罐子里, 1条红色长线缠绕8或12圈, 1块煮熟涂上红粉的猪颈部份的肉, 1面竖镜, 1把尖端系有红纸的剪刀, 1个锁头(未上锁), 2枚50仙硬币, 2粒鸡蛋和一些煮熟的面线.(仪式进行时) 房门必须上锁, 闲人免进. 准新郎必须在自己的睡房内脸孔朝内进行, 准新娘则面朝祖先灵位, 三把梳子在头发上各梳三次.(仪式后) 锁头必须上锁. 准新郎或准新娘和帮忙上头的'好命婆'一起分享煮熟的两粒鸡蛋和面线.

简化方法：上头本是一个不大繁复的仪式，所以没有特别的简化方法。

The “Shang Tou” ceremony usually held at night a day before the wedding and it is carried out by a “lucky guy”(Hao ming ren). Before the “Shang Tou” ceremony, the bride and the groom are requested to bath with grapefruit leaves, and wear new and all-white pajamas. The Bride can only proceed with the “Shang Tou” ceremony at least an hour after the groom has completes the “Shang Tou” ceremony.  During the “Shang Tou” ceremony the couple has to eat some dumpling, and the balance dumpling will be share with their friends and family as a symbol to establish good interpersonal relationships. After the ceremony is completed, the couple is not allowed to stand outside the room, or take out the pajamas till the next morning, They are also not allow to eat the sacrificial -especially “Shang Tou” chicken.

Guangdong / Hakka: (preparation before the “Shang Tou” ceremony) 3 jar of white rice, 3 dragon and phoenix joss stick, a bunch of orange, a few pieces of cypress, a ruler, a pair of scissors, a mirror and some five-color thread and put all of them into the middle of a big jar, the dragon candle is put on left while the phoenix candle is put on right hand side of the jar, a pair of combs, 2 boxes of powder, 3 small cup of rice wine, 3 small cups of tea, 3 bowl of dumplings, 1 steamed chicken, Pork, 5 orange, some lettuce(sang choi), celery and green onions.(During the ritual): The groom must face the wall; while the bride must face to the door to comb their hair for 3 times.(After the ritual): Put a red tray at the center of the bed with 2 red packet (ang pow), 2 oranges, some melon seeds, "longan", lotus lily, red dates, and a pair of charcoal tied with the red thread. At the same time, put some flower inside the room.

Fuzhou: (preparation before the “Shang Tou” ceremony) Things to tie up with red thread are: mirror, comb, a pair of scissors, and rural, besides that they also need to prepare some fruits, some colorful dessert, dumpling, cypress, plate, 10 pairs of chopsticks and a jar of white rice. Before the “Shang Tou” ceremony, the bride and the groom are requested to bath, the groom has to wear white pajamas whereas the bride has to wear pink pajamas.       

    

Teochew/Hokkian:  (preparation before the “Shang Tou” ceremony) 12 pieces of wedding pastries (Ang gu gui) 12 bale of noodles which each of them need to tie with red thread, 3 different types of combs, a piece of cooked with red powder pork, a mirror, a pair of scissors tie with red thread, an unlock lock, 2 piece of 50 cent coin, 2 eggs and some cooked noodles. Also required are white color of artificial flower and 2 red colors of artificial flowers to put into a full rice jar and then use a red thread to winding the jar up to 8 or 12 rounds.(During the ritual): The door must lock in order to avoid others to go in. The groom must face his room’s wall; while the bride must face to her ancestor memorial tablet. 3 combs will be used in this ceremony, each of them will be used to comb on hair for 3 times.(After the ritual): The lock must be locked. The bride and the groom have to share the eggs and noodle with the “lucky guy”(Hao ming ren).

Simplified method: There is no simplified method as the “Shang Tou” ritual is not as complicated as you think.

5)安床 Decoration for bridal chamber (An Chuang)

由'好命人'把新床稍微移动一下, 在新床的四角各置一封红包或缘钱, 象征无限的祝福, 但愿财运亨通, 富贵吉祥. 然后再让小男孩上床跳跃玩乐, 希望新人将来早生贵子, 子孙满堂. 床上还要放一些扁柏, 红枣, 2粒橙, 瓜子, 莲子百合及其他糖果. 衣橱:先把准新郎的衣服放进衣橱, 然后才放进准新娘的衣服. 一个双喜的红纸分别贴在衣橱的门, 梳妆镜及房门上. 所有桌子, 衣橱的抽屉, 必须放进一包缘钱, 一封红包或扁柏, 象征新人世世代代都丰衣足食.

备注：「好命人」是哪位？由女方找一位長輩是「福、祿、壽」三全的吉祥婦人。福、祿、壽三全的意思是：婚姻和睦、五代同堂（有些亦說三代同堂）、公婆老公兒女皆健在；若女方家中沒有好命婆，也可請男方找一位這樣的長輩，或由風水師進行安床儀式。

福州: 床上放一束用红线绑著的连有叶子的橘子, 柑, 苹果, 莲子百合. 安床后, 任何人都不可以坐或睡在床上在进行'上头'仪式过后, 准新郎必须睡在床上。

潮洲/福建: 偏爱让家翁, 家姑或祖家翁主持安床仪式, 甚至有些准新人亲自进行此仪式. 放红包或缘钱. 安好床后, 它的位置就不许加以移动或要睡两个人, 一是新郎, 另一人是男性. 女孩子更不准坐在床上. 在进行'上头'仪式过后, 准新郎必须与一名生肖不相冲的小男孩同睡在床上, 据说可以早生贵子.

找屬龍的男孩滾床

安床後，準新郎找一位屬龍的小男孩，一起睡到結婚前夕。倘若新房設在公婆家，婚前都不會睡這個新床，可拿男女雙方的衣服代替，或在床頭放一對穿結婚禮服的娃娃；如果非得要睡新床，又沒有屬龍的男孩，則放新娘的衣服在床上即可。另外，新房安床後若沒人睡，記得要留燈一整夜，象徵婚姻光明

简化方法： 居住环境地方浅窄，也不用讲究安床，尽量不碰新床已足够了。

备注： 孕妇和带孝者在婚礼头一个月内不得进新房。 月事期间的妇女不可在安床后及结婚当晚进新房﹝新娘除外﹞。

安床禁忌

1，农民历「破日」不宜安床。
2，新人生肖不可与安床吉日相冲。
3，生肖属虎或寡妇不得观礼，参观新房。
4，结婚当天到晚上就寝前，任何人都不可触碰床。
5，不可以让探房的人，坐在新床上与新人聊天。
6，婚后四个月内不可空房，若外宿则由家人睡新房，或将新人衣服置于床上。
7，结婚当天，新娘可以坐在床上但不可躺下。（习俗是新娘婚后会有很多病痛，另一说是显得新娘家教不好，懒惰）
8，新郎不可单独睡新床。（这点很忌讳，习俗认为睡空床代表另一半已离去）
9，不可让失婚者坐卧新床。

Assign a “lucky guy”(Hao ming ren) to move the new bed and put a red packet(Ang pow) at each corner as a symbol of unlimited blessing, good luck and prosperities. Assign a little boy to play on bed as a symbol of wishes for the couple to have their baby soon. And then put some cypress, red dates, 2 orange, melon seeds, lotus seeds and other candy on bed. The bride only can put her dress into the closet after the groom put in his clothes. Others than clothes, things to put in into the closet are: a pack of money, a red packet (Ang pow), a cypress. A red word “Xi” has to paste and put on the closet’s door, vanity dresser, door, drawers as a symbol of prosperity.

(Fuzhou): Thing to put on the bed are: a brunch of orange, apple, and lotus lily tied with red line. After the bed put in order, no one can sit or sleep on the bed.  The Groom must sleep on the bed after the “Shang Tou” ritual.

(Teochew/Hokkian):  Normally they prefer the eldest to host the (An Chuang) ceremony, some even done by the bride and the groom themselves. After the bed put in order, no one can move, sit or sleep on the bed.  The Groom is must sleep on the bed after the “Shang Tou” ritual.

Simplified method: If you stay in a small room, no need for you to pay too much attention on (An Chuang) ceremony. Just make sure that no one can move, sit or sleep on the bed after the bed put in order.

The bride and the groom can choose to put a pair of doll in a wedding dress or their own clothes on the bed as a symbol they slept on the bed after the “An Chuang” ceremony. Remember to leave the bridal chamber’s lights on the whole night, even though there is no people inside the room, because in Chinese traditional wedding culture they believe that keep the light on is a symbolize to have a good marriage life.

Remark: Woman who is pregnant and those whose family members just pass away are not allowed to enter the bride room for the first month of marriage. Woman who is period is not allow to enter the bride room after the bed is put in order and during the night of wedding (except the bride)

4)回礼 Gifts for the Bride’s family to return to the bridgroom ( Hui Li)

当男方过大礼后, 女家便需要同日回礼予男家。礼品包括一些礼饼, 18个发糕, 两瓶橙汁, 瓜子(象征早生贵子), 莲子百合(象征百年好合), 蜜枣(象征甜甜蜜蜜), 龙眼, 茶叶, 8粒柑, 8粒苹果, 一并送往准新郎的家. 新娘母亲要买裤子, 裤带及皮包给女婿(象征买田买地荣华富贵).

广东/客家/福州：女家会 退还部分的聘金, 以表示女方家人乐意与男方分享. 礼品有1对根部完好无损的莲藕( 象征著期望新人将开枝散叶, 子孙满堂., 双方家长万寿无疆.)

潮洲/福建: 准新娘的家人必须给负责送礼金和礼品的人, 每人一封红包. 准新娘必须送给新郎的兄长每人一件面巾和一封红包, 送给未来家翁, 家姑每人一件面巾及一封大红包. 还会送上装著五种谷粒的小钱袋(象征家族的昌盛, 增长与生生不息), 2颗芋头, 2颗姜, 2根'九菜', 系上红纸的2块木炭, 2袋汤圆粉, 1条领带和带夹, 一封红包, 给准新郎家里的长辈买鞋穿. 给家公衣, 家婆鞋, 油麻菜子.

简化方法：以利是代替 代替猪肉的称为「猪肉金」；代替衣料的叫「衣料金」。利是封上要列明项目。但重要的礼品，事实上，最简单的方法是以「厚礼金」代替一切，即以一封大利是，写上「礼金大利是」便可。

After the Betrothal gift (Guo Da Li), on the same day the bride has to return some gift to the bridegroom, thing to be include in the return basket are: some biscuit(xi bing), 18 wedding pastries (Huat kueh) , 2 bottles of orange juice, some melon and lotus seeds , candied dates, longan , tea, 8 oranges and 8 apples. Besides that, the mother in law has to buy pants, belts and purses to the son in law as a symbol of good luck and prosperities.

Guangodng /Hakka/Fuzhou: They will return part of the money packet (ping jin) to the bridegroom as a symbol of the bride’s family is willing to share thing with the bridegroom’s family, besides that they will return a pair of lotus as a symbol of wishes for the couple to have their baby soon.

Teochew/Hokkian:  The bride’s family has to give red packet (Ang Pow) for the one who is responsible to send the basket of gift (Ping Jin/Ping li) to the bride’s house. Besides that, the Bride has to return with a piece of towel, a red packet (Ang Pow) and a small bag with 5 kinds of grain to the groom’s brother, sister and father in law as a symbol of prosperity while things to return to the groom's parents are:2 taro, 2 ginger, 2 chives, 2 charcoal bind with red paper, 2 bags of dumplings, a tie and a folder, a red packet(Ang pow), as a symbol for them to buy necessities things.

Simplified method: If you feel troublesome to prepare the entire thing, the easiest way is giving a red packet (ang pow) with a lot of money inside to replace it. Example: A red packet (ang pow) to replace pork is called "pork gold"; A red packet (ang pow) to replace cloth is called "clothing gold."

3)过大礼 Betrothal gift (Guo Da Li)

一般定在婚礼的一至两个星期前.....

广东/客家：一般以托盘来盛装礼品. 之后再将礼品送往准新的娘家.礼品包括了分别装进4封红包的礼金, 特定数量的礼饼, 2只鸡, 2瓶洋酒, 2对龙凤烛, 2套龙凤香, 19粒柑, 19粒苹果, 1 块红布(男方必须比女方的长，在婚礼当天挂在门楣，象征鸿运当头), 1大盘发糕, 一些蔬菜如生菜(象征生生不息), 芹菜(象征克勤克俭)，青葱(象征聪明才智)及一块给准新娘未娶的兄长做裤子的布料(象征财富绵绵).

客家： 附加'煎堆'当作礼品.

福州： 一般把礼品装在红色的篮子(称为'萝格'或'格萝'). 礼金, 特定数量的福州礼饼, 2瓶洋酒, 整只烧猪, 1对龙凤烛, 1套龙凤香, 10粒柑, 10粒苹果, 2 块红布, 1对连根连叶的芋头, 1条手链及一块给准新娘未娶的兄长做裤子的布料, 一并送往准新娘的家.

潮洲/福建：有2次送礼日,在第一次送礼日(称为'送日子'), 男方将会送上部分的礼金, 10或12粒柑, 一些夹心饼, 连同择定的吉时良辰, 送到准新娘的家, 征求女方家长的同意. 在第2次送礼日, 男方会送上乘余的礼金, 礼饼, 12粒柑, 一些夹心饼, 整只烧猪, 2只鸡, 2瓶洋酒, 附加3套米棒(3根粘上芝麻; 另3根则粘上米粒), 红彩布2匹, 龙凤烛2对, 四点金.

Two weeks before the day of wedding the groom will visits the bride’s home and presents gifts which the ritual is called as the Betrothal gift or (Guo Da Li).

Guangodng /Hakka: The items need to be included in the basket are: 4 envelop of money packet (li jin) , a certain number of rinses, 2 chicken, 2 bottles of wine, 2 pairs of dragon & phoenix candle,  a piece of red cotton, 1 big tray of wedding pastries (fa gao), some vegetable: lettuce , celery, green onions,  and a piece of cotton for the bride’s unmarried brother

Fuzhou: money packet(li jin), a certain number of rinses, 2 bottles of wine, a roast pig, a pairs of dragon & phoenix candle,  a pairs of dragon & phoenix of joss sticks, 10 orange, 10 apples , a sweet potato, a bracelet and a piece of cotton for the bride’s unmarried brother

Teochew/Hokkian:  This tradition is made up by 2 parts – first, the groom visit the bride’s home and presents gifts, the items need to be included are money packet (li Jin), 10-12 oranges, peanut/rice candies; the items need to be included for second visit are:  balance part of money packet(li jin), a certain number of rinses, 12 orange, a roast pig, 2 chicken, 2 bottles of wine,  3 sets of rice rods, 3 set of  sesame rod , 2 piece of red cotton, 2 pair of dragon & phoenix candle, and  some gold.

2)过文定 Submission marriage proposal (Guo Wen Ding)

订婚又称“文定”，婚俗之一。昔称“纳吉”及“纳徵”，订婚虽然不像结婚般繁复，但传统习俗仍非常重视，男女双方均需准备若干礼品。过文定是过大礼的前奏，通常在婚礼前一个月举行。当男家择定吉后，便携备三牲酒礼到女方家，正式奉上聘书。

简化方法：与「过大礼」二合为一，省时方便。

过程

新郎先在家行完家祭，而后与媒人同乘一车前往女方家迎娶。下了车，进了门，红包可跑不掉哦

（一）贡礼官：俗称“押箱先生”，专门负责送礼行聘事宜。贡礼官必须控制人数(凑成双数)、车辆(六辆或十二辆)、聘金(双数用红纸包装妥当)、六件礼。

(二）家祭：出发前往女方家纳采之前，男方先行在家行祭祖仪式，这时将纳采所用之“盒仔饼”或大饼，上香祭告列祖列宋,将前往某处女方家下聘，请示列祖列宗保佑这段姻椽美满幸福。

(三）出发：行完家祭后，贡礼官负责将所有聘礼搬上车，新郎与媒人同乘一事，前往女家。

(四）红包：出发前贡礼宫除了打理人数、车数、聘礼外，也得提醒新郎多准备红包。如：前来开新郎车门的舅爹、“压桌”、六名随去的亲人都需备有新娘见面礼、捧洗脸水的女方新友、媒婆礼。

男婚女嫁正式登场霹哩叭啦!鞭炮声响起，男方迎娶的人到啦！当天要进行祭祖、奉茶，直到戴上牵手到白头的戒指后才算礼成。

Normally it is held a month before the wedding but after the groom have fix the auspicious day, the groom will submit a formally appointed letters to the bride with 3 type of sacrificial and some wine.

Simplified method:  To save cost, it can be done with Betrothal gift’s ritual.(Guo Da Li)

1)择日: 婚期的决定 Choose marriage date (Ze Ri)

择日, 通常都要请教择日专家用三元择日和黄历通书挑选一个诸事皆宜的黄道吉日, 由男方先挑选二个不同的吉日, 征求女方同意.

(合八字: 男女双方的生辰八字及双方父母的出生年, 月, 日与阴阳五 行结合起来, 依据相生相克的原理, 计算双方命理是否相合或相冲.)

首先男女要先合八字

择嫁娶吉日是以女命为主，男命为辅，首先排除男女命禁婚年，男命禁婚年不宜娶亲：子年禁蛇相，丑年禁马相，寅年禁羊相，卯年禁猴相，辰年禁鸡相，巳年禁狗相，午年禁猪相，未年禁鼠相， 申年禁牛相，酉年禁虎相，戌年禁兔相，亥年禁龙相。

女命禁行嫁年不宜出闺阁：子年忌兔相，丑年忌虎相，寅年忌牛相，卯年忌鼠相， 辰年忌猪相，巳年忌狗相，午年忌鸡相，未年忌猴相， 申年忌羊相，酉年忌马相，戌年忌蛇相，亥年忌龙相。

除了流年不能与男女双方年份相冲外，还要看男女的八字，推算出最吉利的婚嫁日期，这个日期不能与男方的财星及女方的官星相冲，必然是一个有「贵人」出现的日子，适宜办喜事。

择定吉月

为了大吉，要避开妨翁姑，妨父母，妨夫身，妨女身等凶月。人们多使用“大利月”，这也是根据女方的属相命理来确定的，要找到女命大利月可以参考这个口诀“正七应鸡兔，二八虎和猴。三九蛇共猪，四十龙和狗。牛羊五、十一，鼠马六十二。”例如，如果女方是属狗的，就是适合在四月、十月完婚。万一在“大利月”里因故不能完婚，就只得在“小利月”里查找，小利月口诀： “正、七迎龙狗，二、八牛羊行，三、九鼠马走，四、十鸡兔迎，五、十一月虎猴出，六、十二月蛇猪同” ，这个也是根据女方的属相来确定的。择吉日一般而言，结婚日子多选老黄历上的天德、月德、天德合、月德合、天赦、天愿、三合、天喜、六合等日子，这些日子都适合嫁娶的吉日。结婚择日忌选在月破、平日、收日、闭日、劫煞、灾煞、月煞、月刑、月厌、五墓、月害、大时、天吏、四废、四忌、四穷、五离、八专、往亡、建日等不利运势的日子。具体这些日子怎样算得来，大家可以参照老黄历上的说法。

择吉方

除了择定良辰吉时，还要选定适合的吉利方位，最基本的是看当日的喜神方位，凡嫁娶、冠带，新人向之大吉，喜神生怒则要避开。

每日喜神方位：

甲己在艮乙庚乾，丙辛坤位喜神安。

甲丁壬远向离宫坐，戊癸原来在巽间。

甲、己日喜神在东北，乙、庚日喜神在西北，丙、辛日喜神在西南，丁、壬日喜神在正南。另外，还要避开太白日游方，流年太岁方，五鬼方等对于运势有破败的方位，具体可以多参看老黄历的说法。

以上吉日非科学，仅供参考哦，结婚讲究的是两个人情投意合，并不一定要照本宣科，挑选对自己来说值得纪念的日子也很赞哦~当然啦，结婚找婚车，到成都蓉驹婚车就对咯！

Choose marriage date (ze ri)     

                                        

Since Ancient times, Chinese people practice to consult the almanac “tong shu” to choose the Chinese lucky days of a Gregorian year to decide their marriage date.  

“He ba zi” is refer to matching the  date of birth for the bridegroom, bride, bridegroom’s parents and bride’s parents  to calculate the most suitable  date for marriage which will bring prosperity to both families. Normally, the bridegroom will selected two different auspicious days, before he seeks his consent from the bride.